“With the fire burning LIKE A LOVELY METAPHOR. ”: top 45 funniest first draft comments (part 2)

funniest comments2


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In the world of writing, it is well known that most first drafts are kind of rubbish. By rubbish I mean full of holes, lose ends that are in need of tying up and grammatical errors. This is fine and totally normal. When I first begun my writing journey, I worried about starting the first draft like a lot of other people, but once I was reassured and satisfied that it didn’t have to be wonderful (see images below), I felt much better and I began writing.

Screen Shot 2015-08-08 at 12.55.20 first drfat 2first draftFB_quote_10-e1379605560154

Source Source 2 Source 3  Source 4

As I progressed through my first draft, it came to my attention that some of the notes I was writing to myself  (totally unconsciously), were pretty bloody funny – same goes for Heather. So we decided to collate these in a couple of blog posts to share to you all. We hope you enjoy!


  1. … blah blah description here that is vivid
  2. blah blah more this is sh*t.
  3. in the general direction of the SOMETHING sofa like a bell end
  4. She climbs into the shower leaving me with a desperate urge to climb in after her, and squeeze VARIOUS BITS LOL
  5. THIS NEEDS TO BE SORTED OBVO.
  6. but both knowing that the silence is a void between us and shouldn’t be there lolol
  7. Over the next hour or so, we DO THIS. GO TO THE ZOO AND DO ALL THIS PROPERLY.
  8. replies Tone in a manner that sounds like he’s being a sarcy TW*T
  9. I am taken right back to that day in DATE 20BLAH
  10. GET THE RIGHT TEXT MEBBE IF POSSIBLE
  11. makes no sense but you know what i’m saying.
  12. painful fart face appearing as I attempt to smile.
  13. work out logistics of this lol.
  14. making her suffer through the tension OF MY FAMILY LOL
  15. rewrite obviously like the whole thing.
  16. this is rubbish rewrite u know what im trying to say.
  17. With the fire burning LIKE A LOVELY METAPHOR.
  18. Screen Shot 2015-08-08 at 16.49.59
  19. do better with this metaphor and description as its sh*t.
  20. Screen Shot 2015-08-08 at 16.49.46
  21. this summary is sh*t and obviously must be sorted plz ta.
  22. MORE. DRAG IT OUT TENSION AND ALL THAT.
  23. they do I catch a glance of a delicate hand, embezzled (LOL NO) with a BESPOKE RING HE GOT HER.
  24. This whole para is written horrendously so sort it out coz its important
  25. whole thing needs to be better described and more vivid and less sh*t
  26. sort this whole sack of sh*t out
  27. This could be very poignant but you have f*?ked it here, rewrite it better plz
  28. this is all terrible.
  29. better description plz
  30. This is turd
  31. Screen Shot 2015-08-08 at 16.59.54.Screen Shot 2015-08-08 at 16.59.44Lots of crapping going on 
  32. okay to jump to here? I don’t know, is it? You tell me
  33. Screen Shot 2015-08-08 at 17.01.03
  34. re do this entire bit its shite.
  35. make this a lovely lovely quotable quote
  36. All written like poopoo.
  37. google alcoholism.
  38. Though being selfless is VERY HARD…….. END ON A FABBY CHILLING SENTENCE
  39. “No, this fitting is really important, and I HAVE ALL THIS WEDDING RELATED POOPYDOOP to get done before THIS”.
  40. The rooms leading off of the entrance hall are tall and have white cove like DECORATIONS N STUFF.
  41. The poof by the fire place it is. HOW THE POOF LOOKS/FEELS?
  42. MORE  FACTS ABOUT PIANO  AND ABOUT HOW IT REALLY WENT WITH THE DECOR
  43. “Ah man, Id love to but April packed me some sandwiches”. SADNESS – MENTION SAMMICHES EARLIER.
  44. METAPHOR FOR SH*T AND TINY
  45. .Screen Shot 2015-08-08 at 17.00.16

See Heathers list here 

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3 thoughts on ““With the fire burning LIKE A LOVELY METAPHOR. ”: top 45 funniest first draft comments (part 2)

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